So I know that I wanted to spend more time this year actively acknowledging what I am grateful. I'm a huge believer in gratitude being a healing force, and I believe I've had the most transformative experiences when I stop looking at what I lack, stop comparing myself to others, and look at what I have. But I have not done well on my daily reflection. Or at least, not in an ritual way.
But today, I find myself very grateful.
It seems silly really. My aunt has put together a wiki for us to "draw names" for Christmas, and also to post a quick list of what we might like. (Yes, I am grateful she took charge and did that, but that's not the point.) I am completey flummoxed. I have nothing I want.
Ok, yeah, of course, there are things I want. I want a full-time job with benefits and paid time-off. I want an apartment/condo/house that we can afford that isn't in the ghetto. I want a car I don't constatnly worry about putting in the shop. And to lose about 60 lbs, or even 20. And a week or two on one of those all-inclusive cruise ships.
Or if you are looking for more tangible things, I'd love any cd from Solid Gold. Or a gift certificate to one of my fancy yarn shops, or to Penzeys. Or a gift certificate to my favorite restaurant that just so happens to not have a national ad campaign. Or a to get my nails done.
And I suppose those are all things too, but none of which I feel like I can task my family with. Some of my family is very internet savvy. Some are not. Some live in the MSP metro area, some live in more rural parts of the state. Putting anything down that can't be found at a chain store is really pushing it, and the $30 limit. But I'm not focusing on that.
What I'm focusing on is this: I look around my tiny, tiny apartment and nothing jumps out as a need. I have nothing that I'm pining for. Even when asked the simple question of what's on my wish list, even if there are a few (self-imposed) restrictions, I draw a blank.
I want for nothing. And I am supremely thankful.
