So, I've kind of started running. I say this rather sheepishly, as if I were saying I've started smoking, or collecting beanie babies. I think it's partly because running feels like something my hardbodied, athletic friends do, not what I do. But it's interesting how quickly I've taken to it. I've started dreaming about it (not nightmares), and I look forward to my next time out. I feel good at the end, not blistered and sore. I like it.
Here's a few things I've noticed.
Gained
definition in my calves
some flexibility (I haven't been able to sit cross-legged since I was in grade school. I still can't do it very long)
speed
a bonafide runner's toe (not pretty)
Lost
self-consciousness
side stitches
more hair elastics than I can count
You'll notice weight isn't on either of these lists. And I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. To be honest, that's why I started my running program. However, I do think I have lost mass even if I haven't lost weight. I attempted to add a new hole on the good end of my belt. I thought I had succeeded but apparently I just gave up half way through, because it was unusable today. Either that, or it grew back together like a freshly-pierced ear. And a couple people with sharp eyes that are close to me think I look slimmer. So I do think it's made a difference. But we shall see in the long run.
The strangest thing I think is that I've told hardly anyone about it. I've noticed lately that I seem to have developed a deeply personal streak. I share almost nothing but banal stuff with some of my closest friends. I think partly it's because I feel like they should know to ask, and I'm somehow punishing them by not letting them in. But closeness comes from sharing. How can I expect to be close with these people if I don't share anything? What am I hoping to gain? What am I hoping to accomplish?
Speaking of information I've been witholding: I think maybe possibly I have a job.
That's pretty substantial news! And although I wouldn't consider myself superstitious, I also don't like being caught with egg on my face. So I haven't said much. I didn't say much when I applied, because really? How many jobs have I applied to at this point? I only said something to a few very close friends, family, and colleagues I asked to be references. And even now, since I have not formally signed my offer letter, I have not told added very many people to the list. I told a few people at my temp job of the last 1.5 years that I'll be leaving in May, but that's about it.
But aside from all the secrecy, I'm excited! I was in the rare position of having two simultaneous offers. That was actually very humbling for me. I will be staring in mid-May working for the State on a short term contract position. Hopefully, it will eventually become something more permanent, even if I have to go through a few more contracts to get there. But even so, it' will be a big bump in pay, and a chance to do some good. So I'm thrilled.
And did I mention that I will be working in the same office as my best friend? How much luckier can a girl get?
I'm even ok that I don't start for a few more weeks, because it will give me a chance to whittle down my library list (finally) to under 30. Which just so happens to be one of my goals for the year.
All in all, I'd say things are going pretty well. And I'm grateful.
