conversations

Me:        So here’s your check.  It looks like it was returned because there was no apartment number.  Do you have an apartment number?

Youth:   Yes.

Me:        Ok, this is what we have on file.  Is this your apartment number?

Youth:   Yes.

Me:        Ok . . . those building usually have a letter in their unit numbers.   Do you have a letter too?

Youth:   Yes.

(pause)

(blank stare)

Me:        Okaaay, so what’s your letter?

Youth:   M.

(Thank God, I finally got her to say something other than ‘yes’!)

(anyone else reminded of a knock-knock joke?)

cousins

I am an only child.  Even beyond that, I am an only child who isn't super close with her cousins.  Her whopping total of three cousins total.  But by sheer coincidence, I've happened to be in the company of all three of them in the last few weeks.  And you know what?  My cousins? are hot.

Now, before you get ahead of yourself, let's be clear.  I am in no way physically attracted to my cousins, in the slightest.  For example, my female cousin on my dad's side?  Looks exactly like Emma Watson:



Not bad, right?

As for my two male cousins, they are just as good looking, but have no dopplegangers, so you'll just have to trust me.

So obviously, if my cousins are all really, really, ridiculously good-looking, there must be a lot of good genes in my family.  On both sides.  But myself?  I'd rate as squarely average.  And you'd think since I'm the eldest, I would've had first pick, so to speak, of all these genes.  And yet sadly, still average.

Where the hell did things go wrong?