For most of the western civilization, this is a hectic time of year. It is also a fraught time of year when you have recently lost someone close to you. So allow me to hereby present a ramble of things on my mind these days;
My aunt just canceled our the Xmas get together on my dad's side of the family due to adverse weather conditions. I believe the straw that broke the camel's back was when my uncle, her brother said he was fine with coming over in the snow/wind/sub-zero temps, but he hadn't gotten his shopping done, so he wouldn't be upset if we delayed. We do a yankee-swap, so he only has to buy one gift. He can go to fucking Walgreens and have his pick of $25 gift cards. And my hand to God, if we delayed until next November, he still wouldn't be ready. Because he doesn't operate in advance, he does it when he's under the gun. Now that's all fine and good, but don't commingle your best-operating procedure with someone else's fear of the weather. They are not the same.
Roughly 12-18 months ago, I somehow ran afoul of my co-worker. Her shit list is long, and everyone has been on it at one point or another. However, I somehow managed to extricate myself from it, and worked doubly hard to avoid being on it again. We'll, somehow, I am. I had only a vague idea why I was on it the first time, and since I've been extra cautious and extra careful ever since, I have no earthly clue what perceived slight I managed this time. Two parts of this particularly bother me: one was this morning int he break room when she managed to return my hello, but refused to answer my "how are you" for the second time this week, but then went on to ask in-depth questions of my co-worker, standing next to me, about her new job promotion. A promotion she hadn't even known about until I mentioned it 5 seconds previously. The other is that a few months ago, I came to her in a rush worried something I said was misconstrued and that I may have offended her. she says, oh don't' worry, if I'm offended, I'll tell you. Well, unless ignoring and non-response is "telling", that's a big fucking lie. I don't know whether I should make the effort, or just let this one go. I know this time I didn't do anything wrong, and I"m tired of being terrified of her. I'm sorry she's so unhappy.
My cousin still hasn't sent me his Xmas list. I just want to know what gc at Walgreens I should buy. Maybe I should just give him a gc to Walgreens so he can trade it in for another gc.
I wish I had my mom to talk to about all these things. The holidays aren't the same without her.
I keep buying gifts, and then forgetting what gifts I still have left to buy, thus buying more gifts. Not good for my checkbook.
