Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries. - James Michener

What 'catching up on my correspondence' now means: getting my txt on while walking home from work.

Dear Crabby Class Member,

When I call you back after receiving a letter from you, please don’t treat me like a telemarketer by loudly pressing digits in my ear.  Oh, and please don’t call back the next day saying we never called you.  We did.  You just didn’t take the call.

Thanks

Your friendly class-action administrator

animal, vegetable or mineral?

My husband and I are having an ongoing argument.  It's not about how he dresses, or whether the toilet seat should be left up or down.  It's about corn.

Corn.

My husband is under the (incorrect) impression that it is a vegetable.
"See?", he says, pointing to box in the freezer.  "It says vegetable medley.  And it clearly shows corn as part of the vegetable medley."

"Yeah, well, they also call Velveeta cheese."

I whole heartedly disagree.  Corn is a grain, therefore a starch/carb.  This makes dinner very difficult.

"What should we have with the chicken and corn on the cob?" I ask innocently.

"Mashed potatoes?"

"Umm, no."

"Why not? We already have a veg?"

"Umm, sweetie, corn isn't a veg.  It's a starch.  Have you ever heard of broccoli tortillas?"

"No, but I've heard of zucchini bread."

"Never mind."

This has lead to a basic ban of corn in our house.  This makes 4th of July and August in general very awkward.

Can't we all just get along?

Dear WMDA, That's a terrible acronym. Fire your PR rep unless you like being associated with a failed war and a failed president.

Are owls ever going to go back out of style?! Please!?

comeuppance

Mama had some books to sell so we trekked over to Half Price Books.  The loud speaker sounded like the adults in a Charlie Brown story.  I thought I over-heard my name.  “Hey, did they just say Rachel?”

“No”, Mama replied.  “They called Lisa.”